Episode 121--"born to be mild"


Jerry Stahl


Ron Lagormarsino

Air Dates

5/10/88, 8/23/88

Guest Stars

Robert Crow as Dr. Butler; Robin Leach as himself


Hope and Michael go away for the weekend, leaving Janey behind and Ellyn and Woodman in charge of the house.


As Hope and Michael prepare to go on their first weekend away together since Janey was born, Hope has trouble letting go and believing that Nancy can take care of Janey while they are gone. In the car, she refuses to give the keys to Michael and has a waking nightmare of Robin Leach awarding her the Worst Parent of 1988 Award.

Ellyn and Woodman stay at the house while they're gone (an obvious test run of the "living together" concept) and end up snooping through stuff and finding lots of interesting things, such as horrible love poetry Michael wrote in 1982 and pictures he and Hope took of each other nude, eating granola (it's in the script, I'm not making this up). Unfortunately, Nancy gets extremely sick and has to dump Janey back with Ellyn and Woodman.

At the shore, Hope sits around moping for a while, but it doesn't take much for her to remember how nice it was to be alone with Michael and without a baby. Back at the ranch, Ellyn and Woodman do the domestic thing and take care of Janey who promptly develops an inexplicable rash which sends them into a tailspin. They take Janey to the hospital and call Hope from there, which naturally sends her into a corresponding tailspin. It turned out Ellyn had just washed Janey in dishsoap, so Gary and Melissa come over to help entertain until Janey throws up on Gary's favorite sweater. Woodman and Ellyn proceed to discuss domestic matters in a roundabout way as he cooks an elaborate meal for her even after she accidentally threw away a main ingredient. Ellyn is so tired by bedtime she doesn't even want to have sex.

Hope and Michael continue having a great time at the beach and have more than enough sex for everyone. Woodman goes out for a bike ride and runs into Gary while Ellyn and Melissa kvetch about men while watching a nature documentary. Hope and Michael lose all track of time and have to dash to make checkout, and end up bursting in on Ellyn and Woodman who had just decided to live together and were on the verge of cementing the deal in Hope and Michael's bed.


  • Michael used to ride a motorcycle and has lots of leather hidden in the closet.
  • Hope's parents made the down payment on the house.
  • Michael knew he loved Hope after some strange pizza incident years ago
  • Opener clips of Ellyn holding Janey, and Hope and Michael at the shore.
  • Fashion

    Gary and Woodman looked ridiculous riding bikes in spandex. Yes, Ellyn's hair is definitely looking much better though she wore incredibly tacky shiny blue running shorts slit up the side.


    Dream Sequence


    "AAA said this was a classic Victorian place, but who would've thought Queen Victoria was a Magic Fingers kinda gal?" --Michael

    "Well, my mother washed me with dish soap . Hope, that's not true. My skin was fine until junior high." --Ellyn to Hope, on the phone

    "I do have a first name, you know." --(Steve) Woodman

    "How can you trust someone who doesn't binge on M&Ms?" --Melissa on the utter dearth of chocolate in Hope's pantry

    "Hoo, little guilt, little guilt. Were you born into some secret sect of Jewish Presbyterianism?" --Michael to Hope

    "I think I'm missing the relationship chromosome." --Gary


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